...fly, fly, fly away, you let me fly so high, thank you, thank God for you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
I have been singing this theme song from the movie "Beaches", a story of two friends who stuck it out together even in the most difficult situation. It is one of my favorites at Karaoke parties.
It is a tragic film where the one who supported her stubborn friend died of Leukemia. The surviving friend sang this song because she knew how much her friend has given up for her sake.
For the last two months, I have been singing this song as I think of my ate May who emailed me one day in June of this year that aftermonths of visits to the doctor finally, the doctor diagnosed her with Lou Gherig's disease, my husband wrote in our most recent updates:
"...May, Nina’s sister, was initially diagnosed to have Lou Gehrig’s disease or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a kind of motor neuron disease that results in the patient gradually losing control of her motor functions. May has already lost control of her right hand, is slowly losing control of her left hand and is experiencing difficulty in walking or even just putting on her clothes. She has undergone a battery of tests for four months now but doctors cannot diagnose with certainty that her condition is indeed ALS, although the symptoms seem to indicate so. (There is no known cure for ALS; existing treatments serve at most to lengthen survival time but not heal the patient completely.) May is the breadwinner for Nina’s family in Manila – Nina’s mom (her dad has passed away), a brother and a nephew who has just started college. The situation in the family was such that we decided it would be best for Nina to visit them, discuss the situation and take care of her sister, which includes taking her to the hospital for tests and treatment. Nina is now in Manila while Leo continues to stay in San Diego. We don’t know how long Nina should stay there – things are pretty much day-to-day.
We can only cast our burdens on the Lord, knowing He has and will always sustain us. Can we ask you to pray with us that the Lord will reveal more of Himself and His purposes in the days to come?"
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
seeing JESUS as the WAY
Just when you thought that you have arrived finally at a destination does not mean the journey stops there.
It has been more than a year since we arrived here in a "City where we could settle", the direction is not much different from when I first personally confirmed it in late October 2004.
We are amply supplied of our needs, sometimes I confess my unbelief but seeing all the cars, the appliances, the clothes, shoes, even the daily BREAD, shames me to the bones.
Just when you think nothing is happening, then suddenly things start shaping up in the downtown area where we pray to the Lord daily since we arrived, to show us His plan. Even with the Fil-am community where we started, there is an increasing interest in what our team can offer.
In the midst of all these, you get conflicting signals when suddenly you get a message shaking the possibility of staying longer in the city.
We certainly do not believe in the small notes inside a fortune cookie but God speaks in ways beyond our understanding and this is what my husband Leo got that dinner time at Panda Inn downtown: "you will soon cross a great body of water". We can interpret it a lot of ways.
Since 2004, we have crossed great bodies of water, but the greatness of the ONE letting us cross far exceeds the greatness of the water.
There is only one thing that can be treasured in this continuing journey, and that is seeing Jesus as the beginning, the door, the way and most certainly, the end.
The temptation though is to be the way to the Way. Sometimes I think as though I can actively work on controlling my situation. But I really can't.
It has been more than a year since we arrived here in a "City where we could settle", the direction is not much different from when I first personally confirmed it in late October 2004.
We are amply supplied of our needs, sometimes I confess my unbelief but seeing all the cars, the appliances, the clothes, shoes, even the daily BREAD, shames me to the bones.
Just when you think nothing is happening, then suddenly things start shaping up in the downtown area where we pray to the Lord daily since we arrived, to show us His plan. Even with the Fil-am community where we started, there is an increasing interest in what our team can offer.
In the midst of all these, you get conflicting signals when suddenly you get a message shaking the possibility of staying longer in the city.
We certainly do not believe in the small notes inside a fortune cookie but God speaks in ways beyond our understanding and this is what my husband Leo got that dinner time at Panda Inn downtown: "you will soon cross a great body of water". We can interpret it a lot of ways.
Since 2004, we have crossed great bodies of water, but the greatness of the ONE letting us cross far exceeds the greatness of the water.
There is only one thing that can be treasured in this continuing journey, and that is seeing Jesus as the beginning, the door, the way and most certainly, the end.
The temptation though is to be the way to the Way. Sometimes I think as though I can actively work on controlling my situation. But I really can't.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
You've gotta pray just to make it today
last may 3 was the National Day of Prayer. our team joined 3 small groups of professionals in 3 different places in downtown San Diego. The prayer times were short but it gives a sense of where the Holy Spirit would like us to pray, in our hearts, for the City of San Diego, at least for those of us who have been sort of sent out to the city to help make a difference here. No program, no non-sense, just prayer.
but it is a place where your heart is burdened and touched as the people who came, mostly government employees are hurting, because of the many problems they and the city face. There is no way but to express these hurts to God who alone can comfort and heal the hurting.
We've got to pray just to make it today.
but it is a place where your heart is burdened and touched as the people who came, mostly government employees are hurting, because of the many problems they and the city face. There is no way but to express these hurts to God who alone can comfort and heal the hurting.
We've got to pray just to make it today.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Downtown
When we were asked to pray about this assignment, I laughed at the thought. Why San Diego? Until now, I ask the Lord daily to show me His purpose for bringing us here. After a year of seeing Him provide for our needs here, I sense His work and leading.
With approximately 5,000 businesses and more than 75,000 people working downtown, San Diego has a dynamic and robust business climate. Manufacturing, defense, tourism and agriculture remain the regions top industries, but in recent years, San Diego has become the nation's center for the wireless industry. Telecommunications, software and biotech are among the city's fastest growing business sectors. Downtown is the hub of San Diego's government, legal and banking industries. With more than 1 million square feet of new or planned Class A office space downtown, exciting opportunities exist for business growth or expansion."Source:Downtown San Diego."
Home away from home
I sometimes get confused when I think of where my home really is...have discussed this so many times before but it is a subject that pops up every now and then.
Two months of being in my home country felt like I was really home, but then, coming back feels like we're finally home. Confused?
My hubby wrote:
"Just the night before we flew back we were talking and ended up wondering what place on earth we could really call home. After years of frequently moving and traveling you just lose the sense of a permanent dwelling. We felt like strangers on earth, more like pilgrims on a constant journey with God as our constant companion. We thought that perhaps whatever you call home is a matter of perspective; that perhaps home on earth is wherever you find company with God’s people, because, after all, God’s people are meant to be family. And we all should be looking forward to a future home for “here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.” (Heb. 13:14)"
Two months of being in my home country felt like I was really home, but then, coming back feels like we're finally home. Confused?
My hubby wrote:
"Just the night before we flew back we were talking and ended up wondering what place on earth we could really call home. After years of frequently moving and traveling you just lose the sense of a permanent dwelling. We felt like strangers on earth, more like pilgrims on a constant journey with God as our constant companion. We thought that perhaps whatever you call home is a matter of perspective; that perhaps home on earth is wherever you find company with God’s people, because, after all, God’s people are meant to be family. And we all should be looking forward to a future home for “here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.” (Heb. 13:14)"
Friday, February 16, 2007
KNOCKED DOWN BUT NOT KNOCKED OUT
Many boxers win because even though they were knocked down, they were never knocked out. I asked my father before what’s the difference between the two terms. He said being knocked down does not mean defeat because the fighter usually does not give up but stands up again and fights some more. However, a fighter who is knocked out means he has already lost.
This journey has been like a boxing match lately. Some challenges get in the way of accomplishing what seems to be our purpose for this journey. There are some days when we feel knocked down, but just like any good fighter, we have to get up and fight some more.
My latest battle was sort of debilitating. It has been like four months where I am up some days and down for many days. I felt useless most of the time as I could not even wash the dishes without feeling so weak and had to back to bed and rest some more. Reading, praying, watching Food Network and what else is there to do? The “go-getter” in me was so depressed…depressed to the core. The possibility that the next bout is more debilitating was scary.
January 25, 2007, after a visit with a doctor in SD and after some phone calls to my doctor in PI, my husband and I decided to go home to seek a more permanent solution to this monthly boxing match. Time is of the essence. Here is a diary of what transpired:
Jan 25 – we sought approval for travel back to the PI
Jan 26 – we scouted for cheaper air ticket. Thanks to Gin, Peter, Emmy and Tony who helped us in this process.
Jan 27 – we bought the ticket and started packing
Jan 28 – last minute time with teammates and friends who prayed for us
Jan 29 – we flew to Manila
Jan 30 – arrived in Manila
Feb 01 – had a visit with my ultrasonologist
Feb 02 – consulted with a specialist and had two procedures scheduled
Feb 04 – checked –in at the hospital
Feb 05- first procedure done at 7:30 am
Feb 07 – second procedure done at 8:30 am, at 2:30 pm I was back to my private room
Feb 09 – IV removed and was asked to walk
Feb 11- checked-out of the hospital
Feb 14 – celebrated Valentine’s Day at home with my one and only
Affirmations:
God’s unconditional love expressed through my husband Leo, friends, ministry partners and family members who gave their letters, emails, text messages, and prayers, love and support all throughout this time. I had friends praying from as far as Afghanistan up to California, New York and Davao. I had plenty of visitors almost daily even at home.
God’s provision, we went out of the hospital without any debt or without signing a promissory note. I had discounts from the three doctors who worked on me. And many partners and friends gave sacrificially to help us in the hospital bills. Our best man Boi, donated his blood to me.
God’s healing, When the doctors saw my urine output displayed below my bed, they praised the quantity and clarity of it. I passed gas on the first day and had my BM after less than 48 hours after the operation. Sorry for the graphic descriptions here but I just realized that we are normally embarrassed by these things, but at the hospital, they were considered wonderful signs of recovery.
God’s presence, the nurses and doctors had difficulty looking for a vein for my IV. Even the anesthesiologist who is the “sharpest shooter” of them all had a tough time. Imagine having inserted a gauge 18 needle for nine times on my right and left hand… what raced through my mind was our Lord Jesus’ nail- pierced hand. I had to deal with only a needle, but He had to deal with perhaps a one inch in diameter nail or bigger; I was lying down with both arms spread open like I am being crucified…I just thought that what I was experiencing was nothing. And besides, these doctors mean that I heal from my infirmity, but “You Lord were pierced to be killed.” As they gave me Demerol to make me sleep, I felt a sudden heaviness on my chest; I thought I was going for good…EVEN THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL FOR YOU ARE WITH ME”. Those were the last words in my mind. Next thing I heard was “Mrs. Breathe deeply, you are in the recovery room…”
One of our visitors preached on trials and tribulations while I was on bed. However, my husband politely told him that what we are experiencing as a couple is a “detour” but still an exciting part of the journey. I agreed. I personally have affirmed God’s unlimited attributes in my life as a result of this detour.
This journey has been like a boxing match lately. Some challenges get in the way of accomplishing what seems to be our purpose for this journey. There are some days when we feel knocked down, but just like any good fighter, we have to get up and fight some more.
My latest battle was sort of debilitating. It has been like four months where I am up some days and down for many days. I felt useless most of the time as I could not even wash the dishes without feeling so weak and had to back to bed and rest some more. Reading, praying, watching Food Network and what else is there to do? The “go-getter” in me was so depressed…depressed to the core. The possibility that the next bout is more debilitating was scary.
January 25, 2007, after a visit with a doctor in SD and after some phone calls to my doctor in PI, my husband and I decided to go home to seek a more permanent solution to this monthly boxing match. Time is of the essence. Here is a diary of what transpired:
Jan 25 – we sought approval for travel back to the PI
Jan 26 – we scouted for cheaper air ticket. Thanks to Gin, Peter, Emmy and Tony who helped us in this process.
Jan 27 – we bought the ticket and started packing
Jan 28 – last minute time with teammates and friends who prayed for us
Jan 29 – we flew to Manila
Jan 30 – arrived in Manila
Feb 01 – had a visit with my ultrasonologist
Feb 02 – consulted with a specialist and had two procedures scheduled
Feb 04 – checked –in at the hospital
Feb 05- first procedure done at 7:30 am
Feb 07 – second procedure done at 8:30 am, at 2:30 pm I was back to my private room
Feb 09 – IV removed and was asked to walk
Feb 11- checked-out of the hospital
Feb 14 – celebrated Valentine’s Day at home with my one and only
Affirmations:
God’s unconditional love expressed through my husband Leo, friends, ministry partners and family members who gave their letters, emails, text messages, and prayers, love and support all throughout this time. I had friends praying from as far as Afghanistan up to California, New York and Davao. I had plenty of visitors almost daily even at home.
God’s provision, we went out of the hospital without any debt or without signing a promissory note. I had discounts from the three doctors who worked on me. And many partners and friends gave sacrificially to help us in the hospital bills. Our best man Boi, donated his blood to me.
God’s healing, When the doctors saw my urine output displayed below my bed, they praised the quantity and clarity of it. I passed gas on the first day and had my BM after less than 48 hours after the operation. Sorry for the graphic descriptions here but I just realized that we are normally embarrassed by these things, but at the hospital, they were considered wonderful signs of recovery.
God’s presence, the nurses and doctors had difficulty looking for a vein for my IV. Even the anesthesiologist who is the “sharpest shooter” of them all had a tough time. Imagine having inserted a gauge 18 needle for nine times on my right and left hand… what raced through my mind was our Lord Jesus’ nail- pierced hand. I had to deal with only a needle, but He had to deal with perhaps a one inch in diameter nail or bigger; I was lying down with both arms spread open like I am being crucified…I just thought that what I was experiencing was nothing. And besides, these doctors mean that I heal from my infirmity, but “You Lord were pierced to be killed.” As they gave me Demerol to make me sleep, I felt a sudden heaviness on my chest; I thought I was going for good…EVEN THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL FOR YOU ARE WITH ME”. Those were the last words in my mind. Next thing I heard was “Mrs. Breathe deeply, you are in the recovery room…”
One of our visitors preached on trials and tribulations while I was on bed. However, my husband politely told him that what we are experiencing as a couple is a “detour” but still an exciting part of the journey. I agreed. I personally have affirmed God’s unlimited attributes in my life as a result of this detour.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Unexpected homecoming
Just when you think you are gettin better, getting a little stronger, from being on bed for almost a month...then suddenly...you are faced with the challenge of making an important decision...to go back home.
But not for good. Just to be clear about it. Leo and I decided that we better seek a more permanent solution to a monthly problem...in our native land.
So I am excited with the prospect of tasting Nanay's paksiw, pinakbet and bingoongan...
It has been stressful though, just because it was so sudden and Leo for one is in the middle of something...but life is like that...full of surprises...
I wanna be surprised with the outcome.
I might taste some puto bumbong as well...
cya all soon
But not for good. Just to be clear about it. Leo and I decided that we better seek a more permanent solution to a monthly problem...in our native land.
So I am excited with the prospect of tasting Nanay's paksiw, pinakbet and bingoongan...
It has been stressful though, just because it was so sudden and Leo for one is in the middle of something...but life is like that...full of surprises...
I wanna be surprised with the outcome.
I might taste some puto bumbong as well...
cya all soon
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Never give up
I miss Nanay (mother) lately. I miss her paksiw na bangus and binagoongan. I miss her nilaga and her pakbet...lying in bed with a perennial illness (I can't disclose the details)...A teammate of mine sent an article which lists illness as one of the signs of culture shock...maybe, but part of getting older I guess.I only turned .."ty four" last December, not that old to be feeling useless as a result of not being able to do the things I used to do...My only consolation is this small note to the Corinthians to " never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed everyday. For our present troubles are small and wo'nt last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them all and will last forever! WOW...what a hope.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Forced Retreat at the close of 2006
Leo and I planned sometime ago to have a retreat this winter break, just to reflect, have some extended time of prayer here in the San Diego area...perhaps sit quietly in a park or coffee shop... but Christmas parties and preparations need to pass before we could do that. So maybe after the 25th, so we thought.
Morning of the 24th, just before our visitor arrived for lunch, I heard a frantic call from my husband, so I went to the bathroom where he was taking a shower, found him on his knees, the faucet still open and in terrible pain. oh no, not again...his back pain is here for a christmas visit.
So the planned retreat did happen, but mostly for him as he laid on our bed, in pain at least for three days. I nursed him, fed him and helped him change positions throughout those three days and on the fourth day helped him walk several steps around the house. While his recovery seemed faster than the last three attacks, the nurse who is ME, suddenly started coughing and sneezing. must be the cold spells the previous nights. This is our first winter here in the US of A.
So while Leo is recovering, I was worsening...i had to retreat too.
We were forced to just lay side by side, leo with his back pain, me with my asthma, read several books, I particularly enjoyed "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller because of his down to earth style and because we identify with some of his adventures and paradigms, did our Bible readings, prayed and slept. We enjoyed the retreat even though the location and circumstances are different. As 2006 came to a close we appreciated God for the small miracles that happened during the year...I guess you have to go back and read my Archives as they are full of testimonies of those miracles.
Happy New Year.
Morning of the 24th, just before our visitor arrived for lunch, I heard a frantic call from my husband, so I went to the bathroom where he was taking a shower, found him on his knees, the faucet still open and in terrible pain. oh no, not again...his back pain is here for a christmas visit.
So the planned retreat did happen, but mostly for him as he laid on our bed, in pain at least for three days. I nursed him, fed him and helped him change positions throughout those three days and on the fourth day helped him walk several steps around the house. While his recovery seemed faster than the last three attacks, the nurse who is ME, suddenly started coughing and sneezing. must be the cold spells the previous nights. This is our first winter here in the US of A.
So while Leo is recovering, I was worsening...i had to retreat too.
We were forced to just lay side by side, leo with his back pain, me with my asthma, read several books, I particularly enjoyed "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller because of his down to earth style and because we identify with some of his adventures and paradigms, did our Bible readings, prayed and slept. We enjoyed the retreat even though the location and circumstances are different. As 2006 came to a close we appreciated God for the small miracles that happened during the year...I guess you have to go back and read my Archives as they are full of testimonies of those miracles.
Happy New Year.
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